Testing the Techniques

It's been awhile, hasn't it? Between trying to use less digital means to do this stuff, I've come to realize that I just need to get a really firm grip over myself in order for me to do what I need to do each day. In terms of work, this semester seems like it might be my most daunting one yet: 18+ credits, 2 part time jobs, and the slight complication of research/grad degrees to worry about. I'm sure that my entire mindset will change once my advisor meeting is over with, as I'll be able to better see what's going on in my life, but I'll need to jump that hoop when I get to it, as currently I'm running in the dark, as the degree site is really off, and at the moment information is the key aspect to my existence. In terms of actual work to do, I have quite a bit that I'll need to think about and plan out today. EECS 388 and Math 289 are cool classes, but I'm just hoping that they'll balance out as soon as my EECS 485 scores come in, as other

With all of my exams, except Math 316, done, I got to say that I think my current strategies will work for the short term. Math 416 might ( keyword: might ) be a lot better than I expected, as I do not have to worry more than I already am about my place and mathematical ability in the course. Overall, I have realized that a LOT of what I need to do is becoming a lot of consistent individual work or CIWs. These sorts of tasks will probably propagate more as I get into more rigorous courses in UMich and (hopefully) am challenged more, but for now, I am forced to explore them haphazardly as I hope to get a lot out more out of college than others. To define a CIW, so I can use that term later and not need to redefine it, I want to give such a task a real chance of increasing my skill level, I will say that, for now, it requires the following three tasks for sure: 1. A New Experience. Whether it is drawing or designing or new math, it needs to be something that either EXTENDS old concep

As no one is reading this anymore, I guess I can bear to be a bit more vulnerable. These past few days have led me to feel just terrible about my actions yet again, and honestly, I am just contemplating the worst of situations in an attempt to prevent myself from thinking about what might happen to me if I do not end up changing my social life. Every day just feels so empty in comparison to the rhythms I try to cultivate to change my life for the better. From the daily stress of all that I do, to the fact that I am pretty sure I'll be alone, a lot of things have lost their color. The ones that haven't, however, are so stained with my pain that I have lost faith in them and won't pursue them as what's the point? That said, I need to stop thinking about the problems with my life and, instead, focus on the alternatives which give me meaning. While there are none right now, I hope to find opportunities which do so and, as a result, bring a little bit of color back into th

So... I did not realize I hadn't written in here for two days. That is rather insane. So - let's bring up a recap:  Thursday:  - My Math 316 teacher did not realize that the homework did not get sent out till the night before, and so I spent a lot of time trying to do work when I really did not want to. I ended up procrastinating waay too much, leading to several situations where I wanted to get something done but I felt way to tired to do so. Today isn't that much better at that, but at least I have some strict schedule to follow and I can just focus on getting my essays written instead of worrying about everything else happening in my life.  Friday:   - That day was the day I really felt worse about not celebrating any sort of holiday. Without taking a break, I was exhausted and made the dumb mistake of getting a nap and coffee at night, leading to a case where I was too awake to sleep yet too tired to do anything meaningful. My best guess is that this is what

Wow. I need to send emails and get stuff done. Telluride is coming up, so I'll probably not be writing too much here as I need to focus on writing essays there for that assignment. Thus, I'll need to be offline for the next few days while I get this sorted. I'll put some stuff up once I simply crank this out.

Welp. I guess I am not going on certain apps ever again. From computer troubles, to missed clicks, to even just oddities on the normal situation, technology increases the amount of helicopter parenting you see in people, and I guess I am not immune from that. It pains me, as I am pretty sure that I am being watched far harder than I reasonably should be given that I do nothing but study, but what can I even do to mitigate that? Now I just feel crummy and compelled to work because some people told me to, and honestly my frustration from something as simple and stupid as that still has me riled up. I just need to re-affirm my own priorities and remember that I am doing this for myself - and not for people who believe their interest is always in my best interest ( while it frequently is, they do not understand some of the nuances of interactions in today's age, which means I have to balance a knife of privacy trying to do things that are otherwise normal ).